


a comforting reality

by determination



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8335633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/determination/pseuds/determination
Summary: A nightmare will only ever be a nightmare. Thanks to Jihyun, Jumin doesn't think he'll forget that anytime soon.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hoo boy,, here it is,, my second jumin/v fic,,, lolol it took a long time to finish (despite being significantly shorter than my first one) but oh well it was tough to overcome the writer's block so i'm not complaining.  
> this is like... an au where jumin found out about rika abusing v and helped v get out of the relationship. and i'm dedicating this to alice(celmisia here on ao3), who has nonstop supported me and who deserves all the jumin/v fics in the world!!!!

Strangely quiet, haunting. Like a muffled noise, blanketed, kept silent. Darkness. Emptiness. Every which way leads to a nothingness that seems to expand, a logical fallacy.

Jumin opens his mouth to speak, call out to see if anyone can hear him, but in an instant the darkness seeps into his throat, blocking the words from escaping. He chokes and coughs at the unpleasant sensation, but it does nothing to alleviate him.

Resisting the urge to double over and vomit, he instead tries to look around for any sign of light, for the end to the black void. None can be found.

And in that moment, images start to swim in front of his eyes. His mother's disappointed face. His father, shouting at him. Faceless women, all eyeing him like hawks scouting for prey.

Weight begins to press down on his shoulders, causing him to stagger forward and almost lose his balance. He gasps, but the air refuses enter his lungs.

Then he sees them. Rika and... Jihyun. Rika is a murky shadow, nothing more than a cloud of smoke that vanishes in a wisp. Jihyun, however, looks tangible, and Jumin finds himself approaching his friend.

Finally, his throat loosens, and he gets the words out. "Jihyun, I'm so glad you're here-"

But as he reaches out, putting his hand on Jihyun's shoulder as Jihyun turns to face him, black goo slips between his fingers. Shocked and disturbed, he watches helplessly as Jihyun deforms and melts, becoming yet another part of the darkness.

Now Jumin does collapse, falling to his knees. Where had Jihyun gone? Why did he always leave Jumin alone?

Slowly, the ground loses its shape, oozing around him and causing him to sink even further into the void.

Negative feelings hit him in a sudden strong wave and leave him winded.

" _He must be robot_."

" _He's so cold, it's not normal_."

" _And he has no friends either_."

" _All he does is work_."

" _And he never cares about anyone but himself_."

" _If I were his parent, I would be ashamed_."

This is... a conversation Jumin had overheard as a child. The maids thought that he wouldn't be able to hear them if they chatted at the other side of the room. Or perhaps they wanted him to hear.

And then it's his father's words. " _Why don't you try dating her? There's no harm. You won't ever know that a woman is a good match for you unless you at least give her a chance_."

His own voice echoes. " _You know I can't do that. I'm not like you, fathe_ r."

" _But if you don't try_ -"

" _Did you forget what I said before? I don't want to date women. My interest... lies elsewhere_."

Even in memory, the disappointment on his father's face is palpable. It sends a shiver down his spine. " _And I told you... don't bring that up again. You're my son, and you're an important part of this company. Just think of all the horrible rumors that would circulate about your frivolous behavior. Please, don't ruin my reputation. If you care about the company at all, you'll find a nice woman to settle down with_."

Such a stupid, pointless conversation. His father would never understand. But maybe it was better that way. Jumin feels sick to his stomach.

Soon after, another scene plays out, one he'd vowed never to think about.

" _We're engaged_!" Rika's voice is smug, proud, and she flashes the ring on her finger in Jumin's face.

Jumin can't even respond; the shock had been too great. He'd known their relationship to be close, but he never imagined that... they would actually consider marriage.

" _Sorry for not telling you sooner_ ," Jihyun is apologetic, like he always is. " _I wanted to, but Rika wanted it to be a secret_."

" _Hush, you weren't supposed to tell him that_ ," Rika laughs, playfully hitting Jihyun's arm.

Jumin is seized by an intense feeling, boiling under his skin like acid _._ He wants to reach out and rip her arm away from Jihyun.

_Don't touch him_.

" _Wh... when's the wedding going to be_?" His voice shook as he tried to control it.

" _We don't have an exact date yet, but it will be soon_ ." Jihyun smiles blindingly at him. " _When we know, I'll tell you. And... I was hoping... that you would be my best man_."

Jumin feels the tears sting his eyes. He watches himself hold back, his expression completely emotionless.

_Say it. Just say it_. But he doesn't.

_It's one damn word! Just say it you fool! Tell him congratulations!_

Even now, he knows it wouldn't be sincere.

And then Rika is gone, and it's just the two of them, and God, Jumin wants to say something - _anything_ -but his voice won't cooperate. After a moment, Jihyun turns and starts to walk away. A feeling of dread grips him. If he lets Jihyun go, he feels like he'll never see him again. That thought terrifies him.

Attempting to call out, he takes a sluggish step forward, only to find himself sinking yet again into the darkness. It begins to swallow him, clouding his vision of Jihyun's retreating figure.

He wants to shout, to say anything at all, but his mouth refuses to open. He tries again and again, clawing at the black ooze as he tries to reach the surface.

_Jihyun!_

_Please, Jihyun, wait!_

_Don't go!_

"Jihyun!" he exclaims, sitting up abruptly in bed. Elizabeth, who had apparently been lying on his chest, tumbles onto the bed in front of him and meows shrilly in protest. Jumin stares at her, breathing heavily. He tries to take in his surroundings and gather his thoughts.

This is his room. It's still dark outside, so it must be late night or early morning. And those memories, that illogical scenario...

"... Just... a dream...?"

He holds a hand to his head. The panic remains, the dream replaying in his mind.

It had felt so real.

Letting out a shaky breath, he buries his face in his hands.

Calm. He has to calm down. It was a dream. A simple nightmare, with no connection to reality. It is stupid to get so worked up over something so trivial.

And yet, he's startled to find tears threatening to fall.

He can't shake the feeling, can't ignore the ugly twisting in his chest and the thick sensation in his throat.

How weak to be so affected by this. Pathetic. Selfish. He's the only one who ever has such unrealistic worries.

As if sensing his unstable state, Elizabeth mewls softly and rubs against his arm. He exhales slowly, moving his hands in order to brush his fingers through her fur.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, voice raw - whether it's from lingering slumber or the intense emotions he'd experienced because of his dream, he's not sure. "I didn't mean to wake you."

The cat settles down on Jumin's lap, her eyes closing as he pets her. He tries to focus on the pleasant feeling of her soft fur, the gentle rumbling as she begins to purr with contentment, but he can't stop the same thoughts from flooding his mind.

"He's alright... isn't he, Elizabeth?" he mutters the question. "He's not hurt, right?"

The cat offers no response.

How strange to see Rika's face like this after so long. Dream or not, it was out of the blue. He wonders very briefly where she is and how she's doing - but then the venom is sinking in, the memories flooding back.

The bruises and injuries, the way Jihyun had grown more and more quiet the longer the relationship lasted... The way he would flinch if someone raised their voice, the way he'd break down at the slightest sign of anger...

No, he doesn't care about Rika.

He's never cared about anyone but Jihyun.

Sighing, he reaches to his bedside table and grasps his phone. Four AM flashes at him as he unlocks it.

"Damn..." He sighs again. "... It's too early, but... would it be bad...?" _To call and check on him...?_ Just to pacify his illogical concerns...?

He'll either be on a plane, somewhere without signal, asleep, busy... or, perhaps... on the off chance that he is available...

Jumin has already dialed the number before he can stop to reconsider.

He half expects to go straight to voicemail, and prepares for such, finger hovering over the end button. However, to his amazement, Jihyun answers almost as quickly as Jumin had input his number.

"Jumin, what's wrong?" Jihyun asks, concern evident in his voice.

God, that voice. A wave of immense relief washes over Jumin, so strong that he forgets to answer. No matter his state of being, Jihyun's voice never fails to make him at peace.

"Jumin?"

"Sorry," he finally gets out, shaking his head. "I just... needed to hear your voice, that's all."

Jihyun takes a deep breath. "It's so early. Why are you awake?" The concern is still there, and Jumin feels a hint of selfish pleasure to know that his friend won't give up so easily. "Are you unwell?"

"I'm fine now," Jumin replies softly. "I'm sorry to have troubled you at this time of morning."

"Don't apologize," Jihyun says, his tone that of a scolding affection. "You know I'd take your call regardless of the time." Warmth pools in Jumin's chest, a tender smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Jihyun pauses, then asks, "Should I come over?"

Jumin blinks a few times, smile faltering in confusion. "... What? Are you back in Korea?"

"Yes." A light chuckle plays its way to Jumin's ears like a beautiful concerto. "I just got back this afternoon. I meant to tell you, but I'm afraid I fell asleep the moment I got home."

"Then you should get more rest," Jumin mumbles, aware that a faint flush has dusted his cheeks. "I'll be fine. Just focus on taking care of yourself, Jihyun."

"You won't persuade me not to come," his friend sounds clearly amused. "I'm still jet lagged, so I feel wide awake right now. You'd be doing me a favor by having me over, honestly."

Jumin bites his lip, a string of thoughts flitting through his mind; all variations of, _I want to see you_. "Then I suppose I should go make a pot of coffee."

"Sounds good. I'll be there soon." Jihyun must be smiling because Jumin can't fight the grin that spreads across his own face.

He never can win against Jihyun.

"Yeah. See you soon."

After hanging up, Jumin glances down at Elizabeth and realizes he had stopped petting her at some point during the call.

"My apologies, princess," he murmurs, gently scratching under her chin. "I had an important call to make." The cat begins purring again, giving him a quiet meow.

Somehow, it feels as if she knows Jumin is feeling a little better. She willingly gets off his lap, waiting patiently by the bathroom as he makes himself presentable and wraps his bathrobe around himself.

"You can have a snack too," he decides as he starts on the coffee. "It's a weird night, so why not."

Pouring some food into her food bowl, he sets it beside the table, leaning against the table as he listens to the coffee grinder.

When had he last seen Jihyun? It must have been... two and a half weeks ago, he reasons. When Jihyun had left. When Jumin had seen him off at the airport, already impatient for the photographer’s return.

It seems like such a short amount of time, but to Jumin it felt like a year had passed. He's eager to be in Jihyun's presence, to listen to his stories from the trip and admire the photographs Jihyun had taken.

Yes. Only Jihyun will do.

He's just bringing the mugs to the table when he hears the clicking sound of the security code being entered. Jumin can't deny the way his heart races when that head of mint hair enters his line of sight.

"Honey, I'm home," Jihyun says with a gentle smile that seems to envelop Jumin like a fleece blanket.

Jumin lets out a soft exhale, crossing the room to reach his friend. "This isn't a drama, you know. How can you say something so corny with a straight face?" Jihyun laughs, raising a hand to affectionately caress Jumin's cheek.

"I don't know," he murmurs. "But I've certainly heard you say worse." Blush sparks across Jumin's face. He doesn't protest, though, instead nuzzling against Jihyun's hand. "I missed you."

"Me too," Jumin nods. "Welcome home."

They move to the table, Jihyun's face lighting up as he wraps his fingers around the mug. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," Jumin shrugs, bringing his own mug to his lips. "Busy, but that's nothing new."

"That's not what I meant." Jihyun's gaze is probing when Jumin meets his eyes. "... Was it another nightmare?"

Of course Jihyun would know. He always does.

Jumin doesn't usually dream. Ever since he was a child, his sleep would be deep and uneventful most nights. Very occasionally, though, his mind would stir, and nightmares would plague him and rid him of a peaceful slumber.

When that happened... he could always count on Jihyun. To be there for him, to stay with him until the anxiety passed... Whether he gave comforting words or simply sat beside Jumin to keep him company, Jihyun had always been the sole factor helping Jumin.

Nothing and nobody else would do.

With a quiet sigh, Jumin nods, sipping his coffee again to avoid a verbal response.

Jihyun waits, but when it's clear the silence will continue, he speaks again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

A pang of guilt tightens in Jumin's chest. He shouldn't describe it. Especially not when _she_ was involved. The images are still crystal clear, and the last thing he'd want is to worry or distress his dear friend.

"I don't really remember it." He shrugs, averting his gaze. "It's insignificant now. I appreciate you coming, though."

"Of course. You know I'd always come." The warmth in Jihyun's voice is greater than that of his coffee. His skin prickles as Jihyun releases the mug and reaches out, placing a hand on his.

The touch isn't unwelcome. In fact, Jumin feels color pooling in his cheeks as he becomes even more acutely aware of how much he'd missed it. Delaying only a brief moment longer, he shifts his hand to lace their fingers together.

"Thank you, Jihyun. I mean it." He smiles, albeit briefly. However brief he'd made it, though, it's plenty of time for Jihyun's eyes to crinkle with a smile of his own.

"Now there's the smile I missed," the photographer says fondly. The blush on Jumin's face grows exponentially more vivid.

"... Tell me about your trip," Jumin mutters, averting his gaze once more out of embarrassment.

Jihyun describes the places he's visited, the people he'd seen. "I should have brought my camera," he remarks, "There are a few pictures I really wanted to show you."

Jumin shakes his head. "It's alright. It just means I have something to look forward to next time we see each other."

There's a twinkle in the photographer's eyes that sets off a fluttery feeling in Jumin's stomach. "I plan to stay here for a while. This was my first serious trip after the surgery so... I hoped to hold an exhibition, and perhaps auction some photos off. I heard about a philanthropic organization during my travels that inspired me to want to donate."

This. This is reality. Jihyun is here, sitting across from Jumin, speaking normally. Jihyun, who had finally decided to get surgery to fix his eyes; whose face lit up with boyish pleasure when he snapped his first photograph with restored vision; who had, in spite of all odds, managed to recover and heal the wounds left by his abuser.

Jumin never wants to let him go.

He hadn't noticed he'd spaced out until he feels Jihyun's hands on his shoulders. Caught off guard, his eyes widen as Jihyun turns the chair to face him and sits down next to him. In the next moment, he leans forward, pressing his forehead against Jumin's.

"Wh.. what are you...?" Jumin starts to ask, but the words lodge in his throat. Jihyun gives a small noise of acknowledgement, wrapping his arms around Jumin.

Well, this sure takes him back.

When he was a child, the nightmares would be hard to bear. There was no one he could talk to, no one who cared enough to check on him. His father expected him to be strong.

And he tried, he really did. But... he couldn't always be strong.

Jihyun... would always come. No matter the time of night, he'd sneak out to see Jumin and comfort him. The sure-fire way to calm him down was when Jihyun gently pressed his forehead to Jumin's, the warmth of the gesture spreading from where Jihyun had touched down to Jumin's feet.

It has been quite some time since they were able to do it, though, as they had both grown busy with work, and Jumin had grown to ignore the nightmares over time.

He can't deny that this feels nice. Intimate. His heart stutters as he realizes the implications; that Jihyun still cares so much about him, that he remembered even something this small and seemingly insignificant.

"I'm no match for you," Jumin mumbles as a faint blush paints his face. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me too," Jihyun sighs contentedly.

"Try not to take long trips again, won't you? It's hard to go this long without physical contact." Jumin's words cause Jihyun to chuckle.

"Then why don't you go with me next time?"

The proposal surprises Jumin into falling silent.

"... What?"

"I prefer having a travel companion. Besides, I'm going to France, and there's nothing I'd like more than to sip wine with you in Paris. Oh, and photograph you."

Jihyun's explanation brightens the color of Jumin's face. "W-wait, I'm not photogenic at all. And what about my job...?"

"Take a vacation." Jihyun's smile has already won him over.

"... Should I...?"

"Absolutely."

Jumin can't remember the last time he took a vacation. He reasons that now is as good a time as ever. Assistant Kang would probably appreciate the time off, as well.

"... Let me know when you plan to leave. I'll be sure to free up my schedule." He lets out a noise of satisfaction as Jihyun shifts, planting a soft kiss to his lips. He slowly pulls away, seeming pleased with the expression on Jumin's face.

"I'm happy to hear that," the photographer says a bit breathily.

His voice sends a shiver down Jumin's spine, and it's all he can do but follow after Jihyun, quickly finding his lips again. An airy chuckle escapes Jihyun's mouth between kisses, only serving to encourage Jumin more.

The kisses grow more fervent, and it's a long while before they finally part. Jumin exhales slowly, an overwhelming sense of adoration gripping him as he gazes at Jihyun.

Yes, this is reality. This is Jihyun, the Jihyun he'd always loved, the Jihyun who shares that sentiment.

A nightmare will only ever be a nightmare. This, however... will continue to warm Jumin's heart for the rest of his life. No amount of nightmares will take that away.

But, on the other hand, an infinite number of kisses will definitely help to enforce it.


End file.
